


Good Luck, Levi

by lastoneleft



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Eren's whacked out on pain meds, I really love that that is a suggested tag, Jean Is A Little Shit, Levi's fed up, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-29
Updated: 2016-01-29
Packaged: 2018-05-16 22:36:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5843596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lastoneleft/pseuds/lastoneleft
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi is thoroughly annoyed with Eren's antics after he gets his wisdom teeth removed. Jean is thoroughly entertained.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Good Luck, Levi

**Author's Note:**

  * For [raefill](https://archiveofourown.org/users/raefill/gifts).



“Thanks again for driving me to pick up Eren.” Levi had his fingers on the door handle, ready to get out and walk into the doctor’s office.

“No need to thank me. I get to see Eren all whacked out on pain meds. This is going to be hilarious.” A smile spread across Jean’s face in what could only be described as smug anticipation.

Levi shook his head despite the smile that tugged on his lips. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Jean hummed to himself as he waited, the tune happy as he thought of the different ways he could fuck with the brunet.

_‘Be nice to him when you’re driving him home,’_ Mikasa’s plea from earlier echoed in his mind, _‘he’s getting his wisdom teeth taken out. Don’t forget how much it sucked for you when you had yours removed.’_

“Tch.” Fine. Jean would restrain himself on the way to Levi’s house, but once they were out of the car, that little shit was fair game.

He couldn’t help the laughter that shook his frame when Levi walked out with a wobbly legged, puffy cheeked Eren leaning against him. He looked positively out of it, muttering what was sure to be nonsense against the top of Levi’s head.

Levi already looked annoyed as he helped the tower of a man into the back of the car.

“You’re gonna sit with me right, LeeLee?” Eren asked, eyes wide, unfocused, and hopeful. It was damn near impossible to understand his jibberish with all the gauze stuffed in his mouth. Jean was thankful for probably the first time ever that he had known Eren for 7 long years.

“I’ve told you three times already to stop calling me that.” Levi rolled his eyes as he climbed over the man into the middle seat. Jean shrugged. Apparently Levi spoke Erenese.

“But you’re my LeeLee ~” he protested, slouching over to lean on the raven haired man’s shoulder.

“Get up, Eren. We have to put your seatbelt on.” He pushed on Eren’s shoulder, avoiding contact with his jaw at all costs.

“But I wanna cuddle!” He pouted in protest.

“Why is my shoulder wet? Did you drool on me?” Levi’s face scrunched in disgust.

“No! That was John.” Eren slurred.

“ _Jean_.” Came an angry correction from the front seat.

“John.” Eren repeated with a lopsided grin. Levi managed to sit him upright and buckle him in.

“Let’s go, Jean. Hopefully I can lay him down when we get home and he’ll just pass out.”

Jean was still grumbling to himself when he pulled out of the parking lot. Screw not messing with the kid ‘til they got home. The fuckery started now. “So, Eren, how do you feel?” He began.

“Like… Madonna.” Eren sighed. “Like a virgin. Touched for the very first time.” He started flailing his arms around in what Levi assumed what supposed to be dancing.

“Jean,” Levi warned, trying to ignore Eren’s off tune humming, “don’t start. You promised.”

“I’m also driving your ass.” Jean countered. “Besides, we don’t live far.” He shrugged. “Jaeger?”

“Hmm?” He nodded. He caught sight of his hand, totally entranced as he brought it closer and closer until it pressed against his face. “John! Turn the lights back on! Oh, that almost rhymed, TEN POINTS TO GRYFFINPUFF.”

Jean bit his lip to contain himself. “So how do you feel about Levi?”

“Fuck off, Jean.” Levi muttered.

Eren’s eyes widened. He sat and contemplated his answer, tugging on his bottom lip. “I… I don’t deserve him!” He wailed. “I-I just let the doctor steal my teeth! I wanted to keep them! He didn’t ask, he just took them! I didn’t protect my teeth, how am I supposed to protect Levi?! He’s a tiny little elf!”

“Eren,” Levi sighed, brow twitching in irritation, “you signed a form.”

Jean was cackling as he pulled into the driveway, listening to the duo argue about whether Eren’s teeth were taken with consent or against his will.

“No! M'telling you, LeeLee, the dentist is evil.” Eren insisted.

“He is not –”

“Yes, he is. He’s not living the teenage dream!”

Jean was gripping his sides, tears forming in the edges of his eyes.

“Teenage… what?”

“Make, me, feel like I’m livin’ a teen-age-dreaaaam –”

Levi dropped his head back, cursing the fact that Eren had such a weak tolerance for any form of anesthesia. “Oh, is that a butterfly?”

“Where?!” Eren pushed off of the shorter man and stumbled around the front yard.

Jean wiped his eyes, heaving for breath. He slung an arm around Levi’s shoulders. “I gotta hand it to ya, you picked a real winner.”

Eren gave up on his search and turned back. “Hey! No! Levi’s mine!” He lunged forward and swiped at Jean’s intruding hand, failing to remove it from Levi’s shoulder. “Leggo!”

“Nah.” Jean gloated. “Levi and I talked. We’ve decided that he’s mine now.”

“Jean!” Levi hissed. He was the one who would have to deal with the dark haired man after this and he was already far from impressed.

“Levi, no! You can’t leave me!” Eren cried, grabbing onto the hem of Levi’s jacket.

“Eh?” Dark brows tensed over silver eyes.

“And why not?” Jean chuckled.

“Because, uh…”

Levi was suddenly intrigued. “Because…?”

Eren’s knees gave out and he looked up at the pair, bottom lip jutting out. “Because I… I’m pregnant and it’s yours!”

That’s when Jean lost it, howling with laughter to the point that he dropped into a squat.

“Eren.” Levi snipped. “That is not possible.”

“I know.” Eren mumbled pulling his arm back to cross both over his chest.

“And why not?”

He sighed, a frown pulling the edges of his mouth down. “Because we always use condoms.”

Levi face palmed. Jean fell over onto the grass, roaring with laughter. "Oh man! Good luck, Levi!"

It was going to be a long day.


End file.
